This is a 6.5 hour, comprehensive, step-by- step training program to help professionals guide couples through the process of healing from betrayal- dealing with the immediate crisis, rebuilding trust, putting the past in the past, redefining their “new marriage” and reconnecting physically and emotionally.
This model is:
Based on “what works”
Focused on diffusing the crisis period
Applicable to non-traditional relationships
Affairs are Destructive for Marriages
No sugar-coating here. Although working through betrayal can- and does- yield positive transformations, the pain can be overwhelming and long-lasting
Universal Rules Don’t Work
Since no two individuals or couples are alike, you have to modify your approach to fit with each couple
Healing Takes a Long Time
Helping couples stay patient over the long haul is key
Two Separate Journeys
How recovery differs for the betrayed and unfaithful spouse
Spending Time Together Helps
How physical proximity heals
Balance Between Discussions About the Affair and Doing Other Things is Necessary
How to handle disagreements about processing the affair and putting the past in the past
Don’t Throw in The Clinical Towel
How not to become hopeless yourself!
Express Feelings Constructively: Anger, Hurt, Rage
How to encourage betrayed spouses to speak their truths and be heard
Thoughts About Family, Friends, and Children - Needing Support
It’s important to know the difference between people you can share information with and those you can’t.
Ask for Details if it Helps
What information does the betrayed spouse need to heal? When is enough, enough?
Ask for Reassurances Without Accusing
Coach betrayed spouses to approach their partners in constructive ways even when they are anxious or angry
Identify What Might Help and Ask for It
Help clients recognize what does assuage the pain and encourage them to solicit help
Regain Positive Self-Concept and Access Sources of Resilience
Although the unfaithful spouse is an integral part of the healing process, some of the healing work must come from within
Identify Areas of Marriage Needing Improvement
Even if a marriage was on solid ground before an affair, betrayal changes all that. Move beyond the crisis period and rebuild and reconnect
Solution Focused Goal Setting: Three Solution-Oriented Criteria
State Goals Positively
Break Down Goals Into Do-able Chunks
Gain Empathy for Partner
Real healing can’t occur until there is a move toward compassion and empathy for the unfaithful spouse
Learn Ways to Get Back on Track
Setbacks are normal. Getting stuck isn’t
Pay Attention to How Arguments End - “Truce Triggers”
Help couples recognize their unique ways of melting the ice after setbacks
Thought Stopping and Mindfulness
Help betrayed spouses to deal with triggering thoughts and rumination
Regain Personal Resources
A book recommendation for the betrayed spouse’s personal work
Help clients take to heart the saying, “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”
What if spouses can’t forgive? Offer an alternative
Become Sexual Again
When couples have make-up sex. Laying the groundwork for becoming sexual again
A Discussion About Sexuality - Be Specific
Help couples talk openly about sex. What to do when becoming physical is difficult
Pre-empt a typical problem that occurs once progress has been made
Tasks for the Unfaithful Spouse
End the Affair!
Help spouses make clean breaks from affair partners
Help unfaithful spouse understand the impact of betrayal. Coach him or her to communicate this understanding
Teach clients the importance of being contrite and making apologies that heal. What to do when shame interferes with remorse
The importance of complete transparency
Be Willing to Do Whatever it Takes to Reassure the Partner
How to convince the unfaithful spouse about the importance of “x-treme” accountability to rebuild trust
Expect Ups & Downs
Offer a map of the territory ahead
Help this spouse have realistic expectations about the process of healing
Examine Personal Reasons Affair Occurred
Help the unfaithful spouse gain insight into the reasons he or she strayed.
Identify Areas of the Marriage Needing Improvement
Help this spouse become clear about what will make the marriage more loving, exciting and passionate
Having a plan to deal with temptation solidifies one’s resolve to remain committed
Ask Scaling Questions
Know how things are going from session to session
Discuss Their Definition of Commitment
Don’t take anything for granted. Find out what they want their marriage to look like moving forward
Learn Ways to Get Back on Track
As before, help the unfaithful spouse to recognize effective strategies for reconciling after rough times
Often, the hardest person to forgive is oneself. Help the unfaithful spouse feel compassion for him or herself
Working With One Spouse
What to do when someone isn’t ready to end the affair or tell their spouse about it
Watch a video where I work with a woman who doesn’t want to give up her affair or tell her husband about it. Do you hold a secret or not?
Grieving the Affair
Even if ending the affair is intentional, often, there is a sense of loss. Help the unfaithful spouse put that in perspective.
When One Spouse is on the Fence
How the model changes when one spouse isn’t certain about the viability of the marriage
Cementing the Changes, A Celebratory
Ideas about rituals to mark the transformation
Be a pushy hope-monger!
6.5 CE's Available For*:
THIS PROGRAM IS FOR Intermediate and Advanced Level mental health professionals including:
*You must complete an evaluation and pass a T/F quiz after you watch the course to get CE credit. When you purchase the program, you will be sent the evaluation along with instructions about how to obtain your CE's.
Commonwealth Educational Seminars (CES) seeks to ensure equitable treatment of every person and to make every attempt to resolve grievances in a fair manner. Please submit a written grievance to CES, 1020 Osterville West Barnstable Rd, Marstons Mills, MA 02648. Grievances will initially be directed to the training instructor. Grievances would receive, to the best of our ability, corrective action in order to prevent further problems. If you have questions or concerns, contact Commonwealth Educational Seminars at (800) 376-3345.
No returns or refunds on digital products
Continuing Education Program Approval
The following program has been approved for continuing education credit:
Title: Healing From Infidelity: A Professional Program
Sponsoring person or organization: Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp
Presented by: Michele Weiner-Davis, LCSW
_X_ Psychologists _X_ Marriage & Family Therapists _X_ Licensed Professional Counselors _X_ Nurses
Number of CE hours credit per program: 6.5
885 Arapahoe Ave
Boulder, CO 80302
Commonwealth Educational Seminars
1020 Osterville West Barnstable Rd
Marstons Mills, MA 02648
(800) 376-3345 – Fax: (508) 420-3360
Continuing Education credit for this program is awarded by Commonwealth Educational Seminars (CES) for the following professions:
Licensed Professional Counselors/Licensed Mental Health Counselors: Commonwealth Educational Seminars (CES) is entitled to grant continuing education credit for LPCs/LMHCs in the following states: AZ, AR, CA, CO, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, ME, MA, MO, NE, NH, NJ, NM, NC, OR, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WI, WY. CES maintains responsibility for this program. LPCs/LMHCs completing the program will receive 6.5 continuing education hours of credit.
Psychologists: Commonwealth Educational Seminars (CES) is approved by the American Psychological Association (APA) to offer continuing education credit programs. Commonwealth Educational Seminars maintains responsibility for this program and its content. Psychologists receive 6.5 hours of continuing education credit upon completing this program.
Marriage and Family Therapists: Continuing education credit for Marriage & Family Therapists is awarded in the following states: AL, AR, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DC, DE, FL, GA, HI, ID, IN, IA, KS, ME, MD, MO, MT, NE, NH, NJ, NM, NC, OR, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WI, WY. CES maintains responsibility for this program. Marriage and Family therapists completing this program will receive 6.5 CE hours of credit.
Nurses: As an American Psychological Association approved provider CES programs are accepted by the American Nurses Credentialing Center (ANCC). Every state Board of Nursing accepts ANCC approved programs except California and Iowa, however CES is also an approved Continuing Education provider by the California Board of Registered Nursing, (Provider Number CEP15567) which is also accepted by the Iowa Board of Nursing. Nurses completing this program receive 6.5 CE hours of credit.
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